Letting go was always a foreign concept to me. I thought the only way to deal with grief and pain was to sort through it, logically.
I thought that you needed to make sense of a situation to truly move on from it.
But that brought on a lot more pain. Pain and confusion.
What I was taught over the past year by various people, was that letting go is the way out. Surrendering your feelings is the path to total freedom.
I gave it a try, to deal with past issues I discussed in my first post, and at first I felt pretty good.
But I didn’t continue on the path… I confused residual emotions that I still needed to let go of, and surrender, with the thought that I was somehow escaping my feelings by letting them go.
I’m happy I went through all of that, because, I had to face some of the most sobering emotions I’ve dealt with in my life, and it also led me to this realization.
The realization that letting go is the path to total freedom.
When I first heard the term “letting go” I thought it was someone’s pitch for an “easy escape”… For me to run away from my emotions and never look back.
But it’s actually quite the opposite of that.
What I’ve learned is that we deal with our emotions, generally, in one of three ways. The first is repression or suppression.
With this, we try to bottle everything up and pretend we’re okay. For example, we’re told things such as “walk it off”, or “sleep it over”.
As if these things allow us to deal with our emotions… No. What this is, is succumbing to others’ programming of us, telling us to bury our problems that they don’t want to hear about or deal with.
This leads to the second way with which we deal with our emotions… Expression. Now, on the surface, this seems like a good alternative. Letting it out.
However, what we are really doing with expression is “popping”, “bursting”, or “exploding” our emotions.
We bottle it all up with repression / suppression until we hit a breaking point, at which we express our emotions, finally.
And again, that seems like a positive thing, except for the fact that these expressions of our emotion are often reactionary, involuntary, and uncontrollable, in addition to the fact that we often don’t get out all of these painful emotions, leaving us to continue dealing with the remains by repressing or suppressing them.
Or, we will just escape them. Escaping emotions involves actions such as total avoidance by partaking in things such as entertainment, avoidance, drinking alcohol, masturbation (these last two I told you I used as a form of escapism), etc…
Which brings me back to letting go. Letting go, is the surrender of our emotions, the continual surrender, until it’s gone. This will bring about various changes in our lives, changes I will get into in depth when I discuss my review of the book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender.
Basically, we have lower levels of consciousness, which most of us are stuck in, which have been programmed into us our whole lives.
And then we have higher levels of consciousness: courage, love, peace.
These levels of consciousness require facing and dealing with our emotions. Remember how I told you before that I was running away from my emotions? This is the way to deal with them.
This was my misconception with letting go. I thought letting go meant to forget about or run away from. But, like I said, it’s quite the opposite
Letting go is to let go of the resistance to feeling these emotions.
We then allow the emotions to be present and carry themselves out as they will, and we don’t try to stop or alter these emotions. We also don’t judge them, or have any thoughts about them, we simply observe them…
And then we let them go.
And this is the real trick that I learned about this, that I was struggling with in dealing with my emotions before I learned it…
Letting go is not about understanding the why of emotions, or making sense of them, it’s simply having the courage to observe and feel them in their truest form, and then to let them go.
That, surrendering of our emotions, is the pathway to total freedom.